Conversations from the Garden

With apologies to Moses.

This is an expansion of a reply I wrote to a comment made by SeekerofTruth at Christian Post, Blogs, Disciple of Thecla, What Happened to Leviticus 18:20? in which he claims: “I disagree that homosexuality is a sin. If you look at it logically, it just doesn’t make sense–all harmful actions (sin) have really good reasons for why you shouldn’t do them. There is no good reason why being in a homosexual relationship, if you are gay, is harmful to either the individual or society. God does not make arbitrary rules–rules with no reason behind them. If there is no good reason behind a prohibition against homosexual romantic relationships, then the rule is arbitrary. It just doesn’t make sense.”

Scene 1 – In the Garden
Eve: (standing with Adam in front of a fruit tree) “It just doesn’t seem logical. I know God said not to eat the fruit, but, like the serpent says, it looks good, could make us wise, logically we should be able to make our own decision and eat what we want. How could such a little thing impact our lives or that of a future society?”
Adam: “I tend to agree with you. God doesn’t make arbitrary rules. We would be able to tell if there was some type of logic behind God’s telling us not to eat this fruit, and I just don’t see any. The way I see it, that command just doesn’t make sense! So, since we both concur that this command really doesn’t apply to us because it doesn’t make any sense, Let’s eat!”

Scene 2: – Later in the Garden
Adam: Hmm, Eve, do things seem a little out of focus or something after that bite we took?
Eve: Yeah, now that you mention it there seems to be a slight blur everywhere I look, barely perceptible, but now that you mention it!
God: Hey guys, what’s with the leaves?
Adam: Oh, well, I just got a sudden fashion urge.
God: Don’t lie to me, what have you done?
Adam: It wasn’t me, Eve did it!
Eve: It wasn’t me, your creature, what’s his name, made me do it!
God: Didn’t I tell you to stay away from that tree?
Adam: Well, we both thought about it and, you know, it didn’t seem reasonable. I mean, you gave us everything else in the garden that exists, it seemed a little weird and illogical that this one teentsy-weentsy thing would be verboten! We didn’t see how that made any sense!
God: Oh, it didn’t make any sense – TO YOU! So am I suppose to answer to you guys now? I didn’t much mind you giving some strange names to the animals, but you really have done it now!
Eve: Well, it seemed reasonable to us at the time! We thought what harm could it do?
God: Reasonable, eh? So you were the designer of everything that exist and the architect and the builder, right? So you have all the wealth of knowledge and the history to discern what makes sense and what doesn’t? How’s that working out for you now?
Adam and Eve: (sheepishly and in unison) It seemed pretty harmless at the time!

Scene 3 – Outside the Garden
Cain: (standing next to a field with Abel) Man! This sun is so hot! I feel like I’m swimming in the ocean!
Abel: What’s an ocean? Hey, look at those crops of yours, so shrively! That’s pretty funny.
Cain: Shut up, I don’t laugh at those puny little animals of yours, do I?
Adam: (walking up) Hey, what’s happening?
Cain: Not much. This life stinks, I can’t believe this has to be so hard!
Adam: (remembering, almost to himself, looking aside) It wasn’t always like this . . . Oops!
Abel: What do you mean, “wasn’t always”?
Eve: (coming late into the conversation): Adam! We agreed not to mention those days! What are you thinking!
Cain: Come on, what are you talking about! Do you mean there was a time when things were less tough?
Adam: Well, I suppose we better tell them.
Abel: Tell us what?
Adam: (After a few minutes of Adam describing the events of the not too distant past) We’re really sorry about all that!
Cain: Aaugh! You mean you had EVERYTHING, except some stupid piece of fruit, and you just thought “what could be the harm”? Didn’t God give you a BRAIN!!!! Did you sleep-in the day those were handed out?
Eve: (embarrassed): How were we supposed to know what would happen?
Abel: Typical, only thinking of yourself.
Adam: Well, you do know there were just the two of us there.
Abel: What about God? Did you forget about Him. Obviously you did.

Later, back in the hut:
Eve: What happened out there – we agreed never to mention those days!
Adam: I don’t know, it just kind of came out – I couldn’t very well put the gene back in the bottle, could I?
Eve: I’d like to put you back in the bottle! You just never listen to me!
Adam: Well there was that one time I did listen to you . . . .
Eve: That’s right, you’ll never let it go will you. You’ll never let me hear the end of it will you? Keep rubbing it in my face!
Adam: I have this strange feeling that it will be a dominant memory in our genealogy.

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